It is funny where you find life lessons.  I was watching Robot Chicken the other day (one of the few shows I watch) and the following skit came on.

I laughed and didn’t think much of it.  Over the next few days, it was sitting in the back of my mind just waiting to give me a “holy crap” moment.  Sure enough, it hit me driving back from Gastonia, NC after seeing some friends for coffee.  The angrier that Lando got at the altering of Vader’s deal, the worse and more outrageous the deal got.  I realized that it wasn’t just a funny skit, but a parody of how my divorce went.

Sometimes, you have to let go and accept the cards your dealt.  When I was going through my divorce, I was hurting.  I had anger, rage, depression and a whole lot of negative crap running through my bloodstream.  You know what, it did more harm to me than good.  I lost friends, allowed a divorce attorney to rake me over the coals and generally made my life hell.  Having all that toxicity in your heart really hurts you in the long run.

Eventually, you get tired of fighting and just accept the deal for what it is.  I lost a lot in my divorce.  Friends, a whole house of my property that I will never get back, almost the kitchen sink (she stopped at taking the kitchen stove – yes, she seriously took the stove!), even the kid that I considered my own.  But what I ended up hurting me more was loosing was my common sense, my dignity and the power to say “fine, I accept it for what it is”.  Instead, I was fighting over things like a 19″ computer monitor!  It was doing me more harm to myself than good.  Every time I would pick something else to fight about – I was just getting the deal “altered”.  I would fight about marital debt – she would pay just the minimum payments (this deal is getting worse all the time).  I would fight about getting a list of marital debt (I told my lawyer I wanted this) I almost get into a fist fight with my lawyer because he kept telling me “we will find that out in discovery”.  Apparently, sending a letter requesting a listing of debt didn’t warrant his $300.00 an hour fee – so he could make more money fighting it in court (this deal is getting worse all the time).  If you’re a divorce attorney reading this blog – GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A BROKEN BEER BOTTLE.

Sorry about that, but seriously if you’re a divorce attorney please jump into the path of an oncoming train.  Where was I – oh yeah.  In the long run, it was easier to give up and just accept the deal for it was.  My scars had healed by then, and I was ready to move on (this deal is very fair and I am happy to be a part of it).  It is understandable feeling hurt, alone and sad going through something like a divorce – but you MUST keep things in perspective.  Otherwise, you could be wearing a dress and bonnet, riding a unicycle while sporting clown shoes and calling yourself Mary…