Carnival of “Feelings” (Rage)

2 07 2013

It has been a week since I have taken my last dosage of Effexor Rx. To say my life has been great wouldn’t be completely accurate. In fact, I feel as though the emotional centers of my brain have opened the flood gates and allowed every repressed feeling spew forth like some toxic sludge. Here are just some of the things that have been circling my emotional drain..

**WARNING – THESE ARE FEELINGS AND THEY MAY BE OFFENSIVE**

Anger / Rage / Hate –

My exwife is a lying, cheating, pulsating pusfilled boil of a human being. I wasted 15 years of my life with that shrill of a woman, disgusting dead brown beaver tooth and all. I hate her so much!! I hope any spawn she has is aborted inorder to keep her twisted DNA out of the Gene pool… As long as I’m in a spiteful mood – I wonder if the Married Autozone Employee’s (father of a one year old no less) wife ever found out?

The clique known as CAA – These people are so deluded with their own “moral superiority” that they fail to see that they are just as bad as the Christians they rail against. I’m not ranting against all of CAA, just a clique of sexually transmitted dieseases that I considered close friends (even when they were stabbing me in the back). People who had no qualms with my ex fucking a married guy behind his wife’s back… so much for moral superiority. But, what can I expect from a clique who’s most prominant/vocal member claims to be a socialist – yet takes his kid to private school. Way to stand for your convictions douchebag!!

The NC DMV – do I really have to say anything else..

Fuck it, I’m just angry.. i’m not even in the mood to format this post…

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Refections of the last 36 years..

4 06 2013

Today I turn 36. Another year stronger and more appreciative of the awe inspiring happenings of life and those around me. I’ve learned some lessons along my path, and I am writing them down with the hopes that you, my dear reader, enjoy and consider what I have picked up along the way.

  • When life knocks you down, get back up and tell life it hits like a bitch..
  • Mr. Yuck means poison
  • Starbucks every morning is crazy,
    there a perfectly good coffee machine at work.
  • Friends will empathize when you cry, true friends allow you to cry on their shoulder
  • Kidney Beans taste great in anything
  • Dogs love you their entire lives – unconditionally.
  • Standing up for yourself is good, standing up for those who cant stand up for themselves is greater
  • Justice is blind, but still has pockets
  • Try to eliminate hate from your life. Reserve it for murderers, rapists, divorce attorneys and ex-spouses
  • Be silly – its fun!!
  • Karaoke will cure stage fright
  • Respect shouldn’t be blindly given, only earned
  • Celebrate your Birthday, you only have a limited number
  • Fencing is fun
  • Acting!!!!
  • Mental patients are awesome people!
  • Mental patients singing christian karaoke – not so awesome
  • Failing at something is ok
  • Not all children are cute
  • If something has 5 screws come out, chances are those 5 screws need to go back in
  • Always rename files, never delete
  • Don’t confuse lust for love
  • Being alone doesnt mean you’re lonely
  • You aren’t your fucking khakis!
  • Don’t Gargle with Rubbing Alcohol
  • Masturbation is healthy and fun!
  • Enjoy you’re mental breakdown
  • Rebel against authority (even if it as insignificant as wearing completely different socks at work)
  • Reconnect with the “black sheep” of your family – they have the best stories
  • Watching the reactions to fireworks on a 9 year olds face is magical
  • Catch lightning bugs, but always let them go
  • Always take a whistle hiking
  • Radical Honesty works – that way you don’t waste you’re time trying to remember the lies you told.
  • The latest and greatest gadget will be next years landfill.

Hope you learned something!!!





Pray I don’t alter it any further…

25 03 2013

It is funny where you find life lessons.  I was watching Robot Chicken the other day (one of the few shows I watch) and the following skit came on.

I laughed and didn’t think much of it.  Over the next few days, it was sitting in the back of my mind just waiting to give me a “holy crap” moment.  Sure enough, it hit me driving back from Gastonia, NC after seeing some friends for coffee.  The angrier that Lando got at the altering of Vader’s deal, the worse and more outrageous the deal got.  I realized that it wasn’t just a funny skit, but a parody of how my divorce went.

Sometimes, you have to let go and accept the cards your dealt.  When I was going through my divorce, I was hurting.  I had anger, rage, depression and a whole lot of negative crap running through my bloodstream.  You know what, it did more harm to me than good.  I lost friends, allowed a divorce attorney to rake me over the coals and generally made my life hell.  Having all that toxicity in your heart really hurts you in the long run.

Eventually, you get tired of fighting and just accept the deal for what it is.  I lost a lot in my divorce.  Friends, a whole house of my property that I will never get back, almost the kitchen sink (she stopped at taking the kitchen stove – yes, she seriously took the stove!), even the kid that I considered my own.  But what I ended up hurting me more was loosing was my common sense, my dignity and the power to say “fine, I accept it for what it is”.  Instead, I was fighting over things like a 19″ computer monitor!  It was doing me more harm to myself than good.  Every time I would pick something else to fight about – I was just getting the deal “altered”.  I would fight about marital debt – she would pay just the minimum payments (this deal is getting worse all the time).  I would fight about getting a list of marital debt (I told my lawyer I wanted this) I almost get into a fist fight with my lawyer because he kept telling me “we will find that out in discovery”.  Apparently, sending a letter requesting a listing of debt didn’t warrant his $300.00 an hour fee – so he could make more money fighting it in court (this deal is getting worse all the time).  If you’re a divorce attorney reading this blog – GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A BROKEN BEER BOTTLE.

Sorry about that, but seriously if you’re a divorce attorney please jump into the path of an oncoming train.  Where was I – oh yeah.  In the long run, it was easier to give up and just accept the deal for it was.  My scars had healed by then, and I was ready to move on (this deal is very fair and I am happy to be a part of it).  It is understandable feeling hurt, alone and sad going through something like a divorce – but you MUST keep things in perspective.  Otherwise, you could be wearing a dress and bonnet, riding a unicycle while sporting clown shoes and calling yourself Mary…