When you go through something like divorce, you do what you can to make sense of everything that is going on.  I wanted to put things together, to figure out exactly what to do with my life.  I started browsing the self help sections in Barnes and Noble, reading a lot of self help books, even thought about going to some seminars for “becoming a better you”.  I wanted guidance, I wanted reassurance, I wanted something meaningful.

I found what I was looking for in my stack of old DVDs.

I found reassurance in Fight Club.  No Seminar, no self-help connect the dots pamphlet, no Best Western conference room with stale donuts and coffee.

Fight Club reminded me of a few things I had forgotten.  First and Foremost…

We get so wrapped up in our lives that the thought of death takes a back seat to  things like “I have to mow the lawn”, “I have to take little Suzy to ballet practice” or “I really should buy a lottery ticket”.  Every day, we have meetings, calendar appointments, faxes, email, workshops, soccer practice, fencing lessons – but is that really living?  Yes, I know I may be a tad over dramatic.  Just remind yourself sometimes, “I know Someday I will die” – it will change your perspective and give you a chance to re-evaluate your priorities. Remember:

The next tidbit I took from Fight Club directly relates to my breakdown, my divorce, everything that was “devastating” in my life.  When you go through something like that, the one thing that you need to stay focused on is “getting through it”.  My mom has a saying that goes “There has to be a pony in that pile of horse shit” and it is pretty damn true.    The sentiment came through, loud and clear in the following quote:

I lost everything.  My wife, the child that I raised like she was mine, my friends, money, sanity – All Gone in an instant.  As terrifying as it was, as scared as I was, I was something that I had never been before – I was free.  I was the most free in my entire life.  It was such an intoxicating feeling, that I knew (after a few months) that I was going to be better than I was the previous 14 years.

I have been given (even thought I didn’t realize it at the time) a very special gift.  I got to be who “I” wanted to be.  No longer was I “Erika’s Husband” – I was me!  I could look like I wanted to look, fuck like I wanted to fuck and I could be EVERYTHING that I was told I couldn’t be!   It was like I was a blank canvas and I could paint my own picture.  I was 21 when I had gotten married, so I didn’t know who I was.  I took on the identify of what people wanted me to be, not who I wanted to be!  I AM FREE!

So In Closing – Fuck Tony Robbins, everything you will need to know to have a great life is in Fight Club!!!